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Mystery of the Internet Revealed

As I lay awake at 3:00am watching reruns of the Twilight Zone, I experienced a revelation. A discovery of monumental proportion. A reality that puts more in perspective than any invention in our lifetimes. A breakthrough that explains it all. A sudden and earth shattering realization. Indeed, an epiphany. Or as the great Rod Serling might have said, “You unlocked the door with the key of realization. Beyond it is another dimension — a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind, a dimension of digital delirium. You’re moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into the Internet Zone.”

Now back to my revelation and the long sought answer to the question, “Who invented the Internet?”

Contrary to conventional wisdom, the Internet was not invented in the 1970′s by brilliant scientists at the Defense Advanced Research Projects of the U.S. Department of Defense. No. Nor was it invented in the 1960′s by J.C.R. Linklider when we coined the “Intergalactic Computer Network”, a moniker I kind of like. But it wasn’t Mr. Linklider who invented the Internet. And the Internet was not created by university geniuses in California or anywhere else. Nope. And rest assured it was definitely not invented by Al Gore.

The creation of the Internet was, in fact, as early as 1782. Perhaps before then. But it was in 1782 that the secret was revealed and put right before our very eyes, only to be missed until my Rod Serling inspired Internet Zone revelation.

To understand, one must first explain how the Internet works in the most simplistic of terms (apologies to the Geeks of this world). Essentially, the Internet is a pyramid network of computers around the world. It is analogous to a pyramid because for an Internet address to work, it must be programmed into an “authoritative root server” aka the Big Kahuna Server. Once it’s programmed into Mr. Kahuna (as a simple number), it migrates throughout the Internet like a virus and a few nano-seconds later, presto, the address works throughout the worldwide web. In other words, once the top of the pyramid and the authoritative root server approves a number, it allows the owner to enter the new world order of communications — the Internet Zone — now the globe’s centerpiece of global commerce and conversation.

So, you ask, Who did invent the Internet? Was it the United States? Was it some secret society hidden deep in bunkers somewhere unknown to mere mortals? Indeed, was it invented by aliens hovering above all those poor citizens in Arizona who are constantly being captured and probed by large green marauders from Mars?

Relax. We didn’t get the Internet from aliens, although the way folks looked in 1782 may belie that conclusion. The Internet was, in fact, invented in the United States and revealed to the world in 1782. Right in front of us. Today, we carry the proof of its invention in our pockets every day. We pass the secret to one another in complete ignorance of the origins revealed on another key to commerce — the Almighty one dollar bill. We just didn’t see it.

Pull a one dollar bill out of your wallet or purse. Look on the back. Left side.

What do you see? A pyramid — the Great Seal — with the all knowing authoritative root server on top. The eye. The Big Kahuna. And the motto, “Annuit Cœptis”, meaning “Announcing the Birth of…” and “Novus Ordo Seclorum”, meaning “New Order of the Ages”. Thus, the Latin motto translates to “Announcing The Birth of The New World Order.” You got it. The Internet. 1782.

Not that I’m paranoid or anything, but the lore of the Great Seal may reveal even more about the Internet. Legend has it that the Great Seal was a symbol of the Free Masons, a decidedly secretive group that still exists today. And their secrets were protected by the infamous Knights Templar, a mysterious collection of cloaked guardians of all things sacred (to some). So I couldn’t help but wonder…are the members of ICANN’s Board of Directors disciples of the Knights Templar? That may explain why they don’t listen to anyone. I wonder…

So there you have it. The secret of the invention of the Internet revealed.

Doug Wood, We Expert

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